This here big guy is Jack. Jack is a mule. He works within the Grand Canyon.
Jack (him) knows where he is.
And I (Jack) know where I am.
Yet, somehow, you be here...
Yep, Jack (him) and I (Jack) think this is not where you wanted to be.
Neither Jack (him) nor I (Jack) are quite sure what you did, but try to feel good about it.
Regardless of how, you've done it!
Good for you, says I... Uh, we. Us?
Please note that all grammatical errors are here for affect. - the management
Please note that the improper usage of affect in place of effect was done for affect. - the management of the management
Please note that the word management used thrice previously merely implies a "higher up" - the legal department
Please note that the legal department is actually just a person who can spell "legal" and "department" - Jack (him) and I (Jack) with appreciation and deep respect for M. Python esq.